1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.
6. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
7. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
8. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
10. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.
11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
19. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
20. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
21. You have to believe that it’s okay to give Federal workers off on Christmas Day but it’s not okay to say “Merry Christmas.”
Ready to vote?
This is stupid and poorly written. It is no different than any stereotypical slam on any group as a whole. If it's supposed to be funny, it failed. If it's supposed to be factual, it failed terribly. At most, it is a juvenile attempt to relate with the less intelligent members of the Republican party.
ReplyDeleteBean, calm down there missy... three quick points
ReplyDelete1. If you were to ask the democratic house leader (Nancy P) what her stance is on these points, they would all ring true so, even though you may not think its funny or true, I do.
2. Many of these may not be based on actual facts and not all democrats are ultra left wing but, they hold truth for at least 50% of that party, and all are certainly true for the leadership of that particular party (which by the way were voted in to represent them).
3. As for this being poorly written, this was taken offline, I didn't write it. It is just random propaganda so don't blame me for that.
Thats all... Hope all is well kid-o
I still disagree that these points are the views of at least 50% of the party or 50% of their leaders for that matter. It is written in a way that pushes liberal views to the extreme. I don't have time to comment on every one of these points, but I'll talk about #1 just so you see my point. To say that democrats 'support abortion on demand' is a way of streching the liberal view so it sounds horrific. The truth is that the two sides of that particular debate are 'pro-life' or 'pro-choice'. Being pro-choice does not mean you support abortion on demand. It means you support the right of women to CHOOSE what happens to their own body. I'm perfectly calm. I get that this is supposed to be some kind of funny piece of propaganda. I just wanted to point out that it is very far from 'eerily true'!
ReplyDeleteThis is fun. I think a good "How to be a good Republican" is due, just for the sake of humorous propaganda:
ReplyDelete1. You have to support the "Right to Life," unless it's the life of a prisoner. After all, God said all life is sacred except for THEIR life, right?
2. You have to believe that businesses will ever
work in favor of anyone but themselves.
3. You have to believe that chemical weapons
sold to the Iraqi government by the US are
sufficient reason to invade Iraq.
4. You have to believe that there is no art
worth funding that doesn't involve dogs
playing poker.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures
are unaffected by increased particles in the
atmosphere, despite what an eighth grade
education would tell you. You also have to
believe everything that the oil companies say.
Because they love you and wouldn't try to
steal from you.
6. You have to believe that AIDS is God's
punishment on the wicked, but cancer
is just nature's way of thinning the
herd. (Oh, yeah. And cancer isn't
related to smoking at all.)
7. You have to believe that a man who pays gay
prostitutes to bugger him and sell him
methamphetamines is qualified to judge your
behavior.
8. You have to believe that hunters need
automatic weapons to hunt herbivores.
Because deer are dangerous.
9. You have to believe that self-esteem is
entirely unimportant. Because if you aren't
born rich, you shouldn't feel good about
yourself. (Like Paris Hilton. She should feel
good about herself. And she deserves not
to be in jail.)
10. You have to believe that a man who doesn't believe that the Holocaust happened is qualified to teach you anything. (Oh, yeah. And it's a good idea to make a movie in ancient Aztec. There's the sign of a stable mind…)
11. You have to believe that George Bush supports any part of the Constitution or the Bill of Rights.
12. You have to believe that oil had nothing
to do with invading Iraq. (Let's see. Before we
invaded Iraq, gas prices were $1.50 per gallon.
Now, I'm paying $3.50 per gallon. Why did
we go to Iraq again?)
13. You have to believe that no woman in American history did anything except Betsy Ross.
14. You have to believe that black people have never been discriminated against, and they're poor because they're lazy.
15. You have to believe that, despite being tortured in a Vietnamese prison camp, John McCain should support torturing Muslims in Guantanamo.
16. You have to believe that Halliburton, because of unfettered capitalism, is doing a good job of supporting our troops. (Please ignore the spoiled meat and $100 meals.)
17. You have to believe that a blowjob is evil, but taking a country to war based on lies is noble.
18. You have to believe that Rudy Giuliani's
propensity for dressing in drag means nothing.
(Oh, and you have to believe that there's
nothing odd about conflating bestiality
and homosexuality. After all, they're the
same thing, aren't they?)
19. You have to believe that illegal Republican
suppression of voting rights is somehow in the
best interest of the American people.
20. You have to believe that any response to
this message is some kind of insane, left-wing
paranoia.
21. You have to be stupid enough to believe that
there is such a thing as a "War on Christmas."
Oh, yeah, and the resurrection of a deity has
something to do with rabbits and colored
eggs, too.
Political fiction is some of the best reading around.
Truth, thank you for this post... I got a nice laugh out of it... maybe even more of a laugh than the one I posted...
ReplyDelete