Fat America...

Good news for the good old Red, White, and Blue! While the economy is taking a shit (Boy, did Obama’s recovery summer work out great or what?), we are still in a recession, jobs are being lost, and foreign affairs are a bigger mess than ever. We, the United States of America are getting better at something though! We are getting stronger, well, kind of,... we are getting FATTER. Don’t worry, all is not lost… we still dominate one thing in the world… and that is being FAT.



The National Center For Health Statistics says more Americans are now obese, as opposed to being merely over weight. Well isn’t that just great, at least we have that going for us... which is nice.

Its one thing to be over weight, but now we are actually obese.

I can hear it now...

“I used to be over weight but, now I’m obese”

or

“Remember when I used to be fat, well now I'm obese… You know, I need to go on a diet so I can just be fat as opposed to obese”

Crazy right...

The way the NCFHS groups weight looks similar to this: Over Weight, Obese, Morbidly Obese…

Why is it that morbidly is always attached to obese? I mean is that not implied? If you are obese isn’t it potentially morbid? You can't really be slightly obese or healthily obese, you can’t be functionally obese, truthfully obese... only morbidly obese.

It seems to me, and I don’t know if the NCFHS has this on their actual scale (actually, I'm sure they don't) but, for the fun of it lets say they did, it would probably look like this... the ratings would be: trim, fit, overweight ,obese, morbidly obese…. dead. Is that not the scale we hear all the time? Imagine hearing this (and its not that far off that we possibly could in the near future)

“Man, I have to really go on a diet, I really just want to be overweight because right now I’m obese”

or

“I gotta get down from morbidly obese to overweight... my goal for now is to be fat”

or

“My goal is to be overweight, right now I am obese.”

You have to give it to us,  in our country, 34% of all Americans are obese, opposed to a measly 33% of Americans being just over weight, so don’t confuse the two.

You know what that means don’t you?
It means that 67% of this country has to lose weight.

34% are really fat and 33% are just fat. Then again look around you… and I don’t mean go to the gym. Go to a normal place and look at people, who around you isn’t a little over weight?

Go to the mall, two out of three people are fat... at least according to these numbers. Two out of three people as you look around the room are over weight. Really, this is just a nice way of saying they are fat.

Places you want to take out of this study are: the gym, and Disney Land. That’s the other end of the spectrum.

Actually in January, you can go to the gym and it might work but, this month is the only month that you will find an overwhelming amount of fat people at the gym… they will give up by the end of the month and they will not be there come February one.

It seems to me, the very worst time to work out in a public gym are the first two weeks in January.  That is because that’s when fat people start to feel guilty about indeed being fat… Fat people please don’t take offense.

I mean shoot, I can lose weight, I'm trying hard to lose weight now. We all want to loose weight. I’m not pointing the finger at anybody, trust me. I would love to tell you that I’m in the best shape of my life… Far from it.

I’m just going by these stats, and the stats say 34% of people are obese and 33% are over weight… that’s incredible (and so gross).

You know what…. we have get that number up. I’m not going to be satisfied until 75% of this countries fat or obese. (I think we should strive to be fat, lol)

Understand, this is coming from a guy who is perfect! And I will explain why I’m perfect:
I woke up the other day and I had a bowl of cereal, and not the healthy kind of cereal by the way… you know the kind of cereal that my two year old kid loves to have….The kind that changes the color of the milk and the milk tastes better by the time your done. Not only did I have a bowl but, I think I had like four bowls of it.

It was a bad morning, I went on a cereal bender. Then I watch some sports center, did some work, did some CARDIO, and then had to make a run into the city and I was gone for several hours (forgot my lunch and stuff at home)… I went about ten hours without eating, after several bowls of unhealthy cereal.

If ever there was anybody who deserved to be in one of those two categories, either the FAT or Obese, its me. Has there ever been a better recipe for a melt down other than going on some bender on a Friday night, but 3 bowls of bad cereal, a work out, and about ten hours without eating? You know what I did…

Drive though at Portillos baby and just crushed it, “Crushed It” (in a stupid ass voice), with a large pop… ate it in the truck, drove home, hit the in house pantry, and went into the loft, got my grind on. I’m that guy so I’m not going to point the finger at fat people…. I’m not even going to get into what I pulled out of the pantry. Lets just say its wasn’t anything that made you skinny, but rather, made you FAT. Let’s just say I didn’t go into the pantry to pull out some grapes and an apple.

The point of this whole rant is, there is no getting around it, we are FAT, I just want us to be fatter.

Don’t stop now America, 67% and counting. No matter where you go and what you eat… SUPER SIZE IT. What’s the worst that could happen? You die from a heart attack; you have to get open-heart surgery because you need a quad by pass?

In all seriousness, we need to start changing our habits and retrain ourselves to think that food is fuel; that smaller healthy meals are good and that stuffing our faces with high caloric food is disgusting… we don’t need to act like slobs all the time.

Think about it, we are not that far from ¾ of the entire country being FAT

Think about that

Out… Cundiff